Hey everyone! Welcome to my blog and thanks so much for wanting to be a part of it! I wanted to write an initial post to tell everyone why I’m here and what inspired me to do this. First, I’m an avid hobby-writer. I love to write anything; songs, poems, short stories, etc. I even wrote tests in college to escape having to take a comm class because I felt like I already knew everything (turns out I did) so that was cool. I’m 19 and I love working with people and helping them work through their issues. This is mostly due to the fact that I’ve been through (and am still going through) a lot of my own. I have had depression since I was 11. Yup, still hasn’t gone away, despite people telling me I was “just sad” and that it would “go away.” Unfortunately, people don’t realize that this issues are comprised of both parts of “nature vs. nurture” debates. There’s a chemical imbalance with the neurotransmitters in my brain that causes me to be sick, mentally. What I did not know, until this year, was why the antidepressants weren’t working. I mean, if it’s an imbalance, it can be treated. Right? Well, not so much.
Upon many trips to the hospital, late night calls to my best friend, crying-on-the-floor-sessions with my boyfriend, and random outbursts, I made an appointment with my family doctor. We discovered that the antidepressants weren’t working, so he referred me to a psychiatrist. (Yes, after 7 years of depression, this was my FIRST psychiatric assessment.) My wonderful boyfriend attended this appointment with me, as I was crazy nervous, and the three of us had a long conversation. Near the end of the visit, I learned I had ALL the symptoms of BPD, Borderline Personality Disorder. To be completely honest, this was such a relief for me! To know I was not alone, to know that there is an actual mental health disorder for all these things I was feeling and doing, was super satisfying. I wasn’t the only one. This was incredible.
So, I started doing some research on BPD, and told some of the closer people in my life about the recent diagnosis. I got a lot of “Ooh, yeah that kind of makes sense…” and a lot of “I don’t believe in that stuff.” Either way, I knew what I knew and I immediately began looking for ways I could donate myself (while still alive of course) for research, as we need to know more about this!
Now, several months later, I’m here, writing this blog, so that you fellow-bloggers (and anyone else) can have a glimpse into the mind of someone like me. It’s not overly exciting, but trust me, it’s one heck of a roller coaster.
Remember, you’re never alone!